Inquiry Cards

Inquiry Cards

Inquiry cards are a deck of cards of beautiful six-sided mandalas, each with a question printed on it. We tend to look outside ourselves for answers when the answers are already within us. Sylvia Nibley designed the Inquiry cards and I just adore them.

The purpose of the deck is to help us practice looking inside ourselves for the answers to the questions of life…big or little. The answers of course will be specific to each of us asking as the answer “lies within” us already.

Inquiry Cards by Sylvia Nibley

There are various ways to use the cards. Various games and layouts to try. I decided today to try the layout explained in the booklet that came with my deck called the Chakra Layout.

I shuffled my deck with the cards face down and drew 7 cards. I placed them in a vertical line with the first card at the bottom for the Base Chakra and going up to the Crown Chakra.

After laying the cards out, I turned them over and asked the question in reference to the chakra it was pulled for. These are my cards today working from top (Crown) down to bottom (Base) Chakra.

Crown-Higher Consciousness: What energizes me? Creativity and Healing. Crystal’s in many formations. Large standing stones, mid size boulders, and hand held rocks take my breath away with their solid earthy beauty. Crystal singing bowls have me absolutely fascinated. Music and Brainstorming ideas about what is possible. The earth and particularly the forest has my interest. I have been out walking in our forest much more recently. I have noticed the water flowing, how it looks and sounds. And I have seen the animals tracks. Sometimes I see the animals that leave the tracks. Gigha walks with me in the woods frequently and she notices everything.

3rd Eye-Intuition: What’s the next step? I have some online courses I have been doing currently, a few free courses about sound healing. I have numerous courses I want to take starting in the late spring. All of them will make me stretch and grow which seems to be what I need. I think I am ready for that now. I have a few handpans and singing bowls I want to sell. And I have a new handpan and crystal singing bowls to buy. I want to get my sound studio set up in our sunroom and get the outdoor tent up and ready for outdoor sessions once spring is truly here.

Throat-Communication: What if I were more powerful? I want to speak my truth. I am starting to find my voice again. Both literally in my singing voice but also what makes my heart sing. Expressing that to others is no easy task. I want to learn to temper my tone and delivery to a manner that is peaceful calm and soft.

Heart-Love: What am I attracted to? I am drawn over and over to animals, nature, trees and forest, flowing water and the earth under my feet. The color in my yarns, music in my sound, and bells in the wind all have my attention. I have been noticing my tubular windchimes more and more these days. The tone of my tea kettle. The ringing of my handpan when one of the dogs bark and it vibrates. Little sounds and singing of things all around me.

Solar Plexus-Self: What needs to change? I need more learning and instruction. I want to take a few courses and learn to apply a business approach to my holistic practice. I want better focus and direction to my plan. This has made me realize I have a completely different mindset and business model that I want to pursue. I do not want a product based business anymore, but rather a service based business with some occasional products. I want to move more and self care.

Sacral-Creative Center: What am I committed to? Bringing my healing holistic self out from the box that I stuffed her into 7 years ago is a top priority. Facing my grief and moving past it is also a necessary step. I want to bring music back into my life on a daily basis. I want to get a large set of crystal singing bowls and let my music take flight. It is wanting to burst forth from inside…dare I say it….burst forth in song!

Root-Survival: Where is my joy? My joy is in what I do….in my creating and healing. Music is my creation and my healing both.

This has all been something to really think about and absorb. I am changing. Change can be difficult but it is also good. Look for my changes as they come.

A Revolution of Sorts….

A Revolution of Sorts….

Whiskey barrel collection

My husband, Chaz, says that he believes “gardens should be an evolution.”  Being Scottish born, “garden” to him is the back yard, front yard, and side yards with any landscaping.  Your Basic Garden that surrounds you.  What Americans call a “garden” is a vegetable garden in Scotland.  So from the Scottish definition of a “garden”, he is referring to our surrounding landscaping.  In the example of us though, it is all combined.  I have a tendency to plant herbs next to flowers, vegetables with bulbs, and fruit trees and bushes with annuals and perinnels.  No where is there a gardening handbook or a gardening police that says you can’t plant a lovely lettuce next to a lily!!

Before shot of new area when we first saw the property in Jan 2013

We have about 20 Acres on the Michigan Alba Ranch and it is all deep woods except for a small area around the house and barns and the pond area.  Because you can’t have a tree growing up in the middle of the pond or it isn’t a pond. Once we bought this property, the first thing that started as soon as Chaz went off shore was for some of the trees to start falling….on the buildings!!!  The first one fell on the lean to roof where Chaz vintage 1970 VW bus was parked.  Over this last year, we have taken down about 180+ trees.  This is barely a dent in what needs accomplishing.  We could have it logged but than it would be about 60% gone with no fire wood left for us.  We will probably continue working on it ourselves instead.  Just this last 10 days we have had 2 maple trees fall.  Both were broke off about 10-15 feet in the air, no other trees down around them, and in a middle of a grove area.  We do wonder if those were lightning strikes with the recent storms???

Brush piles

The trees that we have cleared maybe opened up about 1 acre of land.  It was a very uneven topography, steep hills, drop offs, low bits, flooded areas and stumps everywhere.  Working with a chain saw, wheel barrow and by hand only gets you so far.  I decided to get a quote to bring in the big guys…..just for research as I didn’t think that we could afford it.  Well to say that excavation costs and operations in Michigan are different than in Colorado is an understatement.  We ended up moving the rest of the firewood out of the low old orchard area and burning the huge piles of brush.

Brush Burning

It took over 3 days to burn all the brush.  After being in Colorado for 7 years, I still haven’t gotten over fear of wild fire and even lit my fire pit for a camp fire yet.  So burning the brush was major….efficient…but scarey for me.  Chaz did an excellent burning the brush and keeping everything under control, complete with having a water hose on and down at the site for fire suppression safety.  All those years working offshore and those fire and safety courses paid off!!

We had the Beckman Brothers come and with a bulldozer, loader, trucks, and excavator they made quick work of the job.  It was like big Tonka trucks playing in the sandbox.  I was fascinated and set up a chair to sit outside and watch them.  I didn’t go so far as to pop any corn, but almost.  Amazing.  I was used to watching excavators dig for WEEKS and make very little progress compared to this few days with my 1 acre looking nothing like it did before.

Excavator at work

Once the excavator left, we got down to work.  We raked most of the acre by hand and seeded it.  Certain sections will be pasture in and around the orchard trees for the goats.  That was seeded with alfalfa, wheat grass and sun flower seed.  Chaz keeps saying all he can envision is this field of grass and alfalfa over 2 feet high and can’t see any of the goats….only occasionally see the grass wiggle because they are so short and the kids are even more tiny.  The other areas were seeded with regular grass seed.  Chaz had to put a fence around the entire area as the deer were trying to move in the night the excavators left!!

We have planted about 9 varieties of apple, 2 crab apples, 4 mulberries (white and red), 5 cherries (sweet and tart), 4 peaches (white and yellow), 8 plums (6 European varieties that most folks here have never heard of but are familiar to Chaz), 3 apricots, and 2 pears.  A partridge in there probably as well.  Also I have planted 9 sea berries, 10 fruiting Blue Honeysuckles, 6 Service Berries, numerous other blueberries, 10 red and white currants, a contorted mulberry, and am about to plant the last 2 trees which are a weeping mulberry.

I hope to be making loads of jams, jelly, preserves, chutney, pies and such later on. We did have the excavator raise, fill in and level an area off the house that was eroding and steep enough that with the constant walking that I do on it, my back and knees were having some severe issues.  In that area, the bull dozer took one nice chunk dug right out of the side and Chaz is out there building the platform to set up our Snorkel Hot Tub.  We have been waiting to get this hot tub for over 5 years.  It is a red cedar tub that has a submerged underwater wood stove to heat the water.  No electrical maintenance or running.  Since we don’t have a bath tub and our house is too small to add a tub, it really is a necessity that the Doctor has told me repeatedly to soak in Magnesium flakes.  Now I will be able to and will change the water frequently enough that we don’t have to use chlorine at all since I am allergic to it.  I can’t wait.  We deserve this bit of fun.

Chaz just said to me last night, “I believe a garden should be an evolution.”  I responded that this was as about 5 weeks ago I hadn’t even thought of doing what we were doing and he responded, “No honey, this isn’t an evolution….THIS is a REVOLUTION!!”

Disconnection from Social Media

I have made a decision to try disconnecting from social media.  I have noticed with using both Twitter (although very little since I started with FB) and with using FB, that most of the other ways that I used to stay connected have fallen by the wayside.  My productivity has fallen as I am spending more and more time on FB.  My husband and I watch TV together and we both read FB at the same time.  We go out and I have said to him more than once, can you get your nose out of FB!  He has looked at me in exasperation when we need to go somewhere or do something and I say “oh just finishing this FB thing”.  It must stop.  How can someone be so connected via social media and still so DISCONNECTED in real life?

I think it can be very fun to get the up to minute status updates of your friends and family, but I have also noticed that less and less actual communication occurs as more and more status stuff happens.  With many of these new locator apps, folks don’t even need to do a status update. They can just click a button and it updates to the entire world their exact location via GPS and satellite.  Talk about being on an electronic tether.  Do you ever think about how EVERYONE knows what you are doing all the time?  It has been said that you can control what you put on social media.  Although this is true to a certain extent, the real addiction is that to truly experience social media as it is designed to be you are involved all the time.  You become an open book, with your “knickers” so to speak hanging out there!!!

I realized that I don’t like this.  I want my private stuff private, and my personal things for friends and family for them, and my public things for others on my blog.  I wish to control my media.  FB has repeatedly changed their privacy settings so that I need to continually check to make sure that my private stuff is still private.  I have had to turn on the notifications that I have specifically set for various people and businesses back on repeatedly because FB turned them off yet again.  The amount of times that I have had to specifically turn back the notifications for my OWN HUSBAND because FB shut them off escapes me because of the sheer number of times I have had to do this.

It has been said to not punish those that do wish to stay connected with me because of FB bad behavior.  If I can not control FB, which no one can even control their own profile and you are delusion if you think you can, than my only way to “rebel” against the liberties FB takes with my information and photos is to DELETE FB and NOT engage.  THAT IS THE REAL CHOICE.  FB has said that it is free and will always be free.  They are giving special priority to those updates that folks PAY to have boosted.  My views on my Fan page plummeted when FB started that procedure.  My friends will update their status with a comment and photo and I will see the comment but can’t see the photo even when I go to their profile page and LOOK for it.

All of this is frustrating.  It creates tension.  It creates negative energy.  It creates time wasting as you search for ways to get that information back that you had before and FB took away.  Have you ever tried to search for something that you posted on your own timeline a year or so back and couldn’t remember the exact date?  Good luck trying to find it.  It is so much easier to look for it in my blog or my calendar.

I don’t have time to spin, weave and dye fibers because I am on FB.  I don’t even watch any of my TV shows or a DVD with hubby because I am on FB.  I don’t hang out and walk the dogs like I want to (OK in all fairness that is a lot to do with being eaten alive by skeeters more than FB right now).  I don’t make cheese, soap, lotion or even cook the way that I want to because I keep getting sucked into FB. I am going to return to real life, ranch life, holistic therapies, fiber arts and just breathing.

Have you noticed how FB and FaceBook have now become both a verb and noun.  REALLY?

I haven’t deleted either my FB or my Twitter account, but I will not be posting or tweeting. I will not check them and I will be sharing my adventures here, or by phone/text, letters the old fashioned way with paper and pen, or……shock horror….FACE TO FACE!!!

*I reserve the right to change my mind if I find that I can’t live without FB and am freaking out.  This is why I am not deleting the account right this minute.  But FB be aware, the writing is on the wall!!*

Green Card Interview

It is almost 6 am and we are about to leave to go to Denver for Charlie’s green card interview.  wish us luck 🙂

UPDATE:  We are now back on the ranch from the green card interview.  They granted his green card and stamped his passport with a temporary one that he can use when he goes offshore next week and use until his new one comes in the mail.  So Chaz is now offically a registered alien.  I asked him how he felt and other than anticlimatic after all the build up he hasn’t been able to put his feelings into words yet. 🙂

On another note, Rowan is doing better.  He was bitten by a rattle snake about 3 days ago on his left front leg.  The entire leg swelled up and he was crying and in horrible pain.  We put lavender, purification and peppermint (essential oils from  on the entire leg and down his spine and that has helped his pain level, the swelling go down and well..him not die from the bite!  His brother Larick, had his face swell up the size of a basketball with his eyes closed shut a couple of months ago due to a suspected rattle snake bite as well.  Same essential oils and it took about 48 hours for the swelling to do down on him as well.  We have not seen the actual snakes and hope the dogs killed them for all the hassle the snakes gave them, but if we are walking in the pen I think we might start carrying the .22 Rutger.  I never saw the actual puncture wounds on Larick’s face, but I have seen 3 of the 4 punctures on Rowan’s leg.  The fangs were about 1.5 inches a young snake but a good size still!  As far as I am concerned, all rattle snakes are bad except dead ones!

New Rooster

I had the good news this week from the vet, that both the lumps that we aspirated from #209 were sterile. so NO bad heebeegeebeeies in her that we know of. Marci is coming to get her and her black ewe lamb on Monday and I was a bit stunned at how much weight that lamb has put on in the last few days of me not picking her up. 209 is a great mom. When I pick up her baby, she stands there and baaaaas at me in a very insistent voice, runs around in circles, and stamps her feet over and over at me. She is not thrilled when we pick the baby up.

239 stands there and usually doesn’t even know that I have picked up her baby, and even when the baby cries she won’t take her head out of the feed bin.  The little white ewe lamb from #239 is not growing like a weed, but rather slowly. Her mom, 239, doesn’t seem to be all that great of a mom. She will look for her on occasion and she does feed her but mostly she doesn’t really pay all that much attention to her. Good thing that we are keeping her and don’t intend on breeding her a lot. I would like to breed her to a full white merino ram this next fall, and hope that we get a white ewe lamb from her so that we can retire her from breeding entirely and let her grow fleece the last few years or her life. She has a glorious fleece and produces so much lovely merino that I would be happy with her just growing the fleece and not taking care of babies. But we need to get ONE good ewe lamb from her that is mostly merino, so next year we need to do this hopefully only one more time so that I do not lose her wonderful fleece genetics. The little lamb that she has now is 75% rambulette and I don’t want that breed.

Polish Rooster

We sold the last 2 rambuleletts on Sunday, along with Ace of Spades the llama and gave away a couple of pregnant mouser cats. We did not buy any new livestock, but I did get a lovely new rooster that was bought purely for his crow and his pretty face.  He is a buff lace Polish Rooster.  Since we gave our last rooster to a friend as he was getting attacked by his hens and later by the llama, I wanted a rooster again.  it is just not a ranch without at least ONE rooster.

We made numerous contacts for future sales as there are folks that want some of our Nubian kids and some of our other cross dairy kids. So for this moment, we have finally lowered our head count down from 42 to 35 with 3 more hopefully going on Monday. Just in time for the dorper explosion and the goat explosion. Boy are they getting big, soon they will pop!  I will keep you updated on pics when they lamb or kid.

Still feeling under the weather and very tired, so haven’t been doing much at all recently other than a lot of baking and experimenting in the kitchen. This has been wonderful on the taste buds but not so wonderful on the scales. hmmmm…. I am getting the hang of this artisan bread making though and it is really fun. I don’t know if we will need to buy bread again. Certainly is not on the grocery list for this week.

I haven’t left the cabin much this week. Over the weekend though, along with the swap, I did finish skirting and boxing up the last of the fiber to go to the mill today. I have two more fleeces to skirt, but those will not be going to the mill. One is a lovely lamb white Lincoln Long wool, and the other is the white lamb fleece from my Teeswater/Costwold cross ewe. I will be putting these up on for sale. If any of you are interested in either of these two fleeces, than let me know before I put it up on the site and I can cut you a deal for purchasing the fleece.

I have been working on redoing our business cards, one for charlie and one for me. I think I have a good idea of what I want, now I need to find someone that can do them here in the USA instead of having my printer do them in the UK. Than we will have an official Ranch card that has all of Charlie’s things on his card and all of my things on mine including my holistic things and fibre both. I don’t know if I can find someone that can do our logos and colours the way that they are, if not, well I will have to pay to have them shipped here from the UK.

I am off to help Charlie with the chores this morning as we have a long list of things to do today.

I am considering rejoining the land of living…..

I can not believe how long it has been since I have blogged. I also can hardly remember what has happened in the last year.

Over the last 2.5 years that I have been back in the USA in Colorado working on trying to do our homestead, there has been an unbelievable amount of snags that have hit. 4 court cases with our supposed builder. 3 directly with him that we won and one that was against us because of him which we lost. We have finally recovered that money which pays us back for the one law suit that we lost that was against our land because of him, and paid us back for the car we never got from him and the other two cases effectively paid for our legal fees to do all this. So we are essentially still in the hole the $30,000 that he stole originally and all the damage to our land.

I wanted to sell the land and move to a different part of Colorado, a different county entirely. OR I wanted to sell and move back to Scotland. I had begun to hate our land, hate Colorado, and hate the HOA and everything around me. Well I don’t want to be like that and have made a decision to stay here, make peace with the land and hopefully the HOA and myself as well.

To that end, we had our HOA meeting yesterday and there are 2 of the 3 board members are new. I had an opportunity to speak with the 2 new ones, as well as listen to them in the meeting and was pleasantly surprised that they seem like reasonable REAL people. I thought everyone that was on the board of a HOA had to be a bit crackers!! 😉 So to that end, we shared our protest site to them and if they like it, we plan on taking the protest info off and maybe being the web master and mistress of the HOA site. at least that was what I was proposing and volunteering hubby and self for. Since that time, I did actually tell hubby about it and he has agreed. Good thing I know my husband’s mind and can make it up for him before he knows about it 😆 I do hope that they like it and that we can host the site and render the protest site obsolete as I do believe that the only way to make an HOA work is for folks to be involved and work together. The new board seems to want to work with the people in the HOA rather than control them, patronize them, and talk down to them. This sincerely warms my heart. I feel that part of my road to recovering from the lost of our original dream is to heal this riff and create a new dream and to that end, I think this website could be a great part of the package. I am actually excited about the prospect of being able to contribute to the HOA in this manner when previously all I thought of them was good target practice with my new gun ❗

We have also decided to completely throw out or old house designs, and dream up new ones that work with the site the way that it is as that was another thing that the builder did. He destroyed our house site, did it his way where he wanted it and even with that only half ass did it so there was a large amount of remedial work to be done. We have had a new excavator in that has been a life saver to our property and has fixed it as best as it can ever be done. So we have come up with a new house design that I just love, as it incorporates solar passive heat design, high thermal mass and can be done by one or two inexperienced folks like hubby and myself. so that is on the board to finish those new drawings which are half done and turn them in for approval with the HOA and than get busy in the spring. The next few years with this building might mean only a blog or two again. haha kidding, going to try to be here more. I have decided to cut back from my one career which is my massage to only one day a week effective the first of September. I am going to give it until the end of the year at the one day a week before deciding if I want to come back more or not. at the moment I am too tired to really be able to decide and after a few weeks of deliberation, have decided that the reason that I can’t decide is that I am NOT supposed to decide right and can’t because I am still too tired. In reality, the only thing that has changed in the last two weeks is that I have had a different mind set. I have however still been at the office at least three days per week. so my partner and I have decided that other than ONE day literally a week, where we trade massages for each other and I do other clients that I will not go to work. I will stop my synergy treatments for the next month and restart in October. I am stuck on a plateau with the treatments anyways, and need a break so that my body can reset and that will stop me going to work two more days a week.

What will I do with this time? I think I may go to the mountains. I have so much work that needs to be done on the ranch before winter with securing pens, finishing the water lines for winter and insulating things, and securing more panels and gates and sorting out all the fleece and getting it ready to send off to the mill and using the bad fleece for insulation and order my new loom and start weaving again….that I can more than fill ONE month. 😯 I am going to go on an herb walk in Guffey at the beginning of September. I have always wanted to get into herbs and such much more and this might be a good introduction for me to get my feet wet and see what I think of it. Also I get to meet a local herbalist that will be conducting the tour. I have started to get into herding with the border collies, another of the things on my list for years and have met numerous people with that. There is supposed to be a herding seminar locally done by Carol Lucero in September that I am looking forward to as well so that I may also learn more and meet more local herding folks. I have just picked up a bunch of sheep with a different type of wool so that will be great to work with and I managed to get my sheep lady to sell me her old merino gals that I buy their fleece from her each year. Now I will just care for them their least 3-4 years here, and raise a few of their daughters for my future fleece growing. I got my first batch of kid mohair yarn back from the mill last month and it is to die for. so I am going to add another one or two angoras as I had always planned on keeping about 3-4 of them. I had 3, but one was recently killed so that only leaves me one old gal and her wether grandson. I have added in some wonderfully new Nubian does for milk and have been playing with making some soft cheeses. That has been a total great time, and now I want to start to progress into more hard cheeses, and maybe some butter and yogurts. I still want to make goat milk soap but still a bit scared of the lye. Have to work through that.

I have recently found out also that the Natural Animal Centre in the UK has started to do their Bach Flower Remedy animal courses in the USA. They held them last year in Boston. I am waiting to hear from them the dates and times and location, to see if I might be able to do the three courses this next year. I also saw that they have been busy writing some more books specifically for animals, dogs and cats, as all their books originally were aimed at horses and ponies. I had ordered the books and am awaiting their arrival. I plan on still finishing my intuitive crystal healing diploma, and doing the animal BFR courses. I want to continue with my therapies but be more herbal, and more animal focuses so that it can be done from the ranch and not require going to town with an office ect. I know that many BFR do phone consults for both animals and people. I am hoping to do some advertising and go that way a bit. It will not grow fast as there will be resistance to this locally, but the adverts are to reach the folks that would be interested that may be a few hours from me, more like Denver and Boulder. There is nothing to say that I can not be a travelling BFR animal person 1 or 2 times per month, with the rest of the time doing things via phone or they come to me.

I stopped in last week to my belly dancing group and confirmed they were still there and the times. I want to go back to that and can probalby start in September as this next week I am in the office all day that day as my partner is on vacation. so belly dancing, sheep and goat herding, herbal work, Bach Flower Remedies for animals, sorting and processing fleece, starting to weave again, crocheting again, felting again, making hard and soft cheeses, and maybe even getting around to making some goat milk soap…along with winterizing the ranch, finishing pens, reinforcing fences, finishing the water lines, insulating, and general ranch work…I think that I can stay busy without being in an office. 😯 In Fact, I am very much looking forward to this all. And to think that I have done all this research and starting of things just in the last two weeks. 😆

Where or where has my little dog gone…..

Ok so it has been almost a year since I have wrote in here. 1. I forgot I had a blog. 2. I forgot where it was. 3. I certainly forgot how to log in. 4. I hadn’t read my husband’s or my mother in laws blogs in almost a year… 5. refer to points 1-3 to explain point 4. so I think I might have been dutifully shamed into putting a blog in here. My mother in law scolds my husband when he doesn’t write in his blog, but she never says anything to me. Husband said would you write in it if she did scold you? and I asked why and he said well if you would than I will tell her so that she can scold you. hmmm….course she hasn’t written in hers for several months so with this, SHE is the one that is behind now not me. 😯

where do I start? well the home owners association are still jerks, so no change there.

I have 3 llamas, and 15 goats now, with 4 goats that are sold but still residing here as 3 llamas that I have bought have not made it here yet. One had an injured foot that I have been told tonight has an abscess, so will wait to get the email explaining it all. been negotiating the purchase or our starter Highland cow herd. they won’t be arriving until end of January. have about 100 ft or less of the fence to finish so not 100% sure where they will be put but I think I have it worked out. will be tight quarters until we can get that little bit finished off.

have had snow storms already. about 6 inches of snow a month ago and in the last 10 days about another 18 inches accumulation so probably almost 2 ft total for this year so far and it is only mid December. who knows what this winter will hold?

we need to finish that fencing to make it more comfortable for the critters, and had the home owners gotten their fingers out and not been a pain and responded to our request timely instead of making us wait three weeks to say yes…well I would have had that last little bit finished off and it all closed in. we were set to do a massive push to finish that last bit and close the fence on last Friday and Saturday and the blizzard hit and snowed almost nonstop for about 3 days. so no fence and it is all the home owners associations no change there!! 👿

Went to court last week against Brian the builder. he lost as he didn’t have enough courtesy to show up. so that cost him about $7700 or so. that will teach him. so off now to file the second suite against him shortly.

The man that bought our bronco that we had to take to court to sue to get him to make his payments died a couple of days ago. so we will see if his widow will continue with the responsibility or if she will force us to have to pursue other means to recoup our money. I hope that she pays the small payments and just continues to enjoy the vehicle. I really do not want to have to pursue legal action against her, both because of her recent lost but also because she was a past co-worker.

Been considering some more re constructive work on this body. since it has been almost FIVE years since my WLS surgery, I have not gained any weight since I lost it except in the last 3 months. I have been maybe a touch less active but my eating hasn’t really changed yet i have gained some weight. not a massive amount, but at least 7 pds or so and I can’t seem to shift them and feel like I am struggling to not put on even more. BJ thinks that my body is changing as I seem to be having more difficulties with my sugar and even small things like a bit of bread and some potato soup put me into a sugar rise and crash. thankfully I have found out that a wee pinch of cinnamon under the tongue regulates blood insulin in a very short time, something that all doctors SHOULD tell their patients and probably never bother to. I had never heard that before. This time we are considering having my chest done. it has become increasingly more obvious over the last year that I can not continue as I am now as it is beginning to interfere in my work and life. I have had over a year to wrap my mind around the last doctors statements in our consultation that I will need implants and it is still not sitting the most comfortable with me, but I am coming to understand that he is right if I like it or not!! I have also had a wee bit of a scare but not sure about a possible recurrence of my hernia. we still do not know if I just pulled muscles or if I have the start of a new hernia. Dr BJ is still trying to figure it out for sure as if I do have one it is very small.

it is however, right in the location of where I want to put a tattoo, so i am holding off on that one for a while to see what happens as i don’t want to have one and than have to have it cut later on. that would just ruin it. I never thought I would ever consider let alone have my belly button pierced or have it tattooed. course up til 5 years ago, I couldn’t even SEE my belly button so I guess that changes everything.

BJ has a new puppy. He is a red and white border collie named SAM. Chloe hates him. she bit him the first time that she saw him and than proceeded to turn around in the seat with her back to Sam and I, put her nose in the air and refused to speak to either of us. what a spoiled quine!. Rowan the horse, Anatolian and Pyrenees cross, has studiously taken to learning his new role as HOUSE dog! it is rather comical to see a dog that has to be well over 100 pds lying on his back with all his feet in the arm, singing and playing with a tiny little squeak toy. than when he decides to crawl up on my husband’s lap and pretend that he is a yorkie lap dog, well that one is beyond unbelievable. I can’t figure out which is funnier. Watching Rowan try to “curl up” in husband’s lap while actually taking up the entire settee, or husband asking if his legs going numb is a bad sign? and with having such a LARGE puppy, we do not have to worry about leftovers as anything left on the counter is generally gone faster than you can remember that you left it there as his nose is counter level and that would explain where the croisant from this morning’s breakfast went!! 😆

Anyways, I can not possibly put everything in one year into one blog entry but I am tired and it is getting time to settle in front of the settee so off I will go and maybe I will write again before next year 😉

February 17, 2003

Today has been a long day. I have been in horrendous pain. had to drive about 45 min to my physio therapist even though i could not move my head. But last time I checked now amount of tapping my shoes together would get me there. she worked on my neck. wrung it like a chicken, but it felt much better afterwards. first though she poked me full of needles, acupuncture, and then wrung my neck. honest it was wonderful. ahah but now it is starting to hurt again. not sure if that is the muscles sore after the manipulation or if it is setting up again. but have a massage scheduled for Wednesday and another appointment with the phsyio on Friday. can’t get alot done when i am in so much pain that I can’t even get dressed. was nice to be dressed and showered today. was even able to brush my hair. amazing how much you use your neck. who would have thought? got more studying done. big and final test on Thursday. so ready for this to be done. well off to hopefully sleep. that hasn’t been something that I have had much success in the last 4 or 5 days. couldn’t sleep for all the pain. hopeing tonight will be different. being in pain makes you tired.