January 28, 2003
Today is another day. I think that it might be a better day. I do know that I woke up with a headache, which is uncommon for me, but then all the junk that I ate last night being depressed isn’t common for me either. Had the last bit of the chocolate things that i did not eat last night and the headache got worse. moral of the story..stop eating the chocolate. Tomorrow I go to my GP and get my blood pressure checked and my weight checked. Looking forward to that and not all at the same time. Looking forward because I have been weighed on several different scales lately by different docs with them all having wildly different weights for me. so I want to know what I really weigh. Not looking forward to it because scared of what I really weigh. ahha when i saw Mr P his scale said that I had gained 16 pds..1 stone 2 pds in 13 days from the other docs scale. Neither of these are the ones that I am weighed on regularly. there is my local GP which I just started to use the last couple of months, and my dieticians in Aberdeen where I have been weighed for the last year and a half. I see the GP tomorrow and the dietician in a few weeks. so will some more accurate readings. I know that i have gained, but if Mr Ps scales were right, than I have gained 26.5 pds in seven weeks. that is just about 2 stone in 7 weeks. How is that possible? I have only gained a huge amount of weight quickly like this one other time. a couple of years ago when I came off the atkiens diet and went poof and gained about 50 pds. Prior to DEC 6th I had kept my weight stable within in about 5 pds for the last year and a half. I was on a modified version of the atkiens diet and went off it in disgust in the month of Nov..somewhere around the middle I think and gained 5 pds immediately..than in DEC started to spiral upwards at a horrible rate. this has really affected me in ways that I never anticipated. depressed, angry, and wanting to eat even when not hungry. haven’t resorted to comfort eating for a long time..specially not out of control comfort eating. also have noticed just in the last week alone, that I am suddenly having pain in my low back, sharp pain and if I hold my stomach muscles in it fades mostly, if I sit down it goes away instantly. so the pain is there if I stand or walk even for a short time like 5 min. normally I can go walking for 30-45min before pain starts to set in. feels like my new weight is all sitting in my stomach and pulling my pelvic forward and ripping on my back. ouch and double ouch!! also suddenly out of breath if I walk up the stairs or get in/out of my futon in the livingroom. I feel that I am having troubles breathing while walking..I can do one or the other..just not both together. this could be a problem!! this is just in the last 5-7 days. this is not normal for me. not sure if it is because i have gained weight or if i has anything to do with me eating wheat nonstop for the last month or so. I can’t normally eat wheat. really upsets me and aggravates all these things. I suppose the best thing to feel better is to do something postivie. so for now,I think that I will just eliminate wheat from my diet again..and maybe go for a walk. It is miserable outside, so might put on a video instead. dvd player is out for repairs, so can’t put any of my exercise dvds on, but could put on my bellydancing video. glad no one can see me do that. ahha picture a bear doing belly dancing. what a sight. glad the dogs still love me.