March 3, 2003

haven’t written for a while, but have had a lot or problems for the last 2-3 weeks with my neck. have barely been able to move it most time and the pain has been so bad that I haven’t been able to sleep. i have finished my course in reflexology, so basically my life has just stopped and was revolving around my neck. but then it was getting better. still painful but not as bad and i was starting to sleep finally. and then woke up yesterday morning and it was all messed up again. have severe pain when I turn my head to the right or left and the movement is restricted and my right arm was restricted again and that hasn’t been that bad for at least 10 days. could barely sleep the last two nights. switched and moved around my pillows again last night and it did help ease the pain and I did get three hours sleep after that. I can use my right arm again and there is no pain when I turn my head left. only to the right is there pain and when I try to look down at my toes. so we will see. I have had the neck adjusted, wrung my neck like a chicken, have had acupressure, acupunture- lots of needles stuck in me was the only way to reduce the pain enough to do the adujustment, ultrasound, massage, Reiki, reflexology, heat and just sitting on the couch and trying not to move or breathe. even tried differnt kinds of pain killers wiht different kinds of dosages but not a whole lot of luck. otherwise I have been fine expect gaining lately. alot of it. not eating tons, but have been eating normal food and the carbs seem to be piling weight on and with this forced in activity with my neck it has made it worse. haven’t been wearing my rings or bracelets lately. can get my wedding ring itself on but if I put my engagement ring on too it is too tight. everything is puffy on me. not sure if I have really gained that much weight of i am holding water on top of the weight. I have the sneaking suscpcion that it is weight gain. I really hope that all goes well with Mr P in the Middle East but that he comes home quickly and ready to operate. I am so tired of this waiting. just want it over and to be losing. don’t want to feel this way anymore and want to be able to get my life back and be able to move without pain. decided to lighten my hair a bit a couple of days ago. wonder if my husband will notice it or not. can’t see how he would miss it since it glows in the dark now. oh well another expierment that I should have thought through better. see what forced inactivity in the house when you are by yourself does to a person.

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