March 8, 2003

I have exactly one calendar month to go to my op, unless my date gets moved up. Time is dragging, so impatient. just want to get on with it. 👿 keep sitting on my bed and trying to decide which of my favorite clothes I am going to get rid of and which I will pay to have taken apart and altered. I am even going to have to have my jewelry taken in. I have at the moment three gold braclets and one gold ankle braclet that will all need to be taken in. and about 9+ rings that will need to be resized also. at the moment I am down to only wearing two of the rings rather than the whole lot of them. I can really see the weight gain in my face and the emergence of a double chin, as well as in my stomachs, both of them. also my ankles have been swelling lately, sorta resemble tree trunks. 🙄 I know that i haven’t written anything for a while, but how many ways can you describe horrible pain? my life has just completey stopped these last 25 or so days and revovled around pain. somedays it is hard to get dressed, brush my hair, or even toilet myself when you can’t stand, sit, lie down or otherwise move without pain. I mean even breathing is painful and contrary to popular opinion, you can’t stop that very easily. My physio put my neck in traction yesterday. never had that before. can’t actually say it was my favorite thing either, but it seems to have helped. unfortunately the old injury of my very low back, has flared up and now that my neck is almost well, it has put me out of commission. 😈 It is better than yesterday. Yesterday I was having major difficulty walking and forget standing. today i have done ok with that, but that little bit of a bend forward like when you get to flush the toilet or lift up the toilet seat..wow does that hurt. it is only a couple of inches forward bending but it about puts me on the floor. my garden is beginning to come alive. dont’ plan on any gardening in there for a few weeks. good thing with all this pain. have about 1000+ daffodils coming up, maybe about 500+ snow drops already up, have about 100+ crocus up, all different colours and my several 100’s of tulips are all beginning to peek a smidge of foliage up. I did put in 75 dwarf tulips last fall and they are up, and about a dozen are already showing colour. have some mini iris that are up. I knew they would be shorter than the regular ones that are 1-2 feet tall, but geesh they are only about 3 inches high. there is mini and then there is MINI! have hyaichins and bells..blue, white and pink, all coming up also. so it is really livening up. can’t wait to see it in about 2-3 weeks. it should just be a burst of colour everywhere. 🙂 that is if the dogs allow things to live. 😈 they have already ran over and ripped up a bunch of my favorite purple and white stripped crocus, one of the iris, ripped a huge branch..like 20% of a rhodie down, and branhces off my eucalyptus trees. and I swear there is barely any grass left in some areas of my lawn where they run around and around and around. they are not going to be able to be in my garden if they dont’ cool it. they seem to think that any barked area with lots of flowers is their personal play box and all the green grassy bits are moms. NOT!! anyways, husband is pounding out some steaks and grilling them and they are beginning to smell nice. didn’t think that I wanted any but I might be persuaded. off I go. 😉

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