May 11, 2003

Everyhting that I ate yesterday went down, stayed doww fine, but a half hour or more after I ate it I would feel horribly sick for a few hours. don’t have a clue what to eat now. everything seems to be that way. sorta thinking about not eating at all. just wtaer and my shakes. but i get so hungry when I do that as well as I get tired and weak. over the last few days, I have gone back to eating soups, cottage cheese and last night some mashed potatoes. All of that is making me feel sick. Naseous, and rumbling tummy and later rumbling intestines and wind. the only thing that makes me feel less sick is to NOT eat at all. But I get so hungry and I am so tired and weak when I do that. It has been days now, with all this as well as diarraha. Oh and if I do manage to eat something, I am still having the problem of it doesn’t taste very good at all. I did wear my size smaller blue jeans yesterday and I sat down in them. they were pulling and tight on my tummy in the front, but strangely they are gaping and big at the waistband in the back. so my waist is definitley coming back when my blue jeans don’t remotely fit my shape correctly. they are looser in the legs, and in the bum. I do think that I have lost a lot this last week or so in my legs. They seem smaller, at least from my veiw point and others who have not seen me every day say that too. so I guess not eating does have its advantages, but I don’t think that this was the orignal plan. 🙁

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