November 19, 2003

I have been in Michigan now for a week. I had a bit of troubles in the first week, had to change hotels, have had to be careful with my diet since eating out was wrecking havoc with my system, and didn’t have a vehicle for the better part of two days. But we have wheels again, I am feeling better, and I have a better frame of mind. Amazing how sometimes my attitude gets the better or me when I don’t feel well. 🙁 My mom is still not doing the best, but I am going to her appointment with her second opinion doc on Monday. Dr Baker. She is probalby going to have to have to have a partial reversal and hopefully we will know more on monday. Been shopping a lot. New wardrobe. shocked at what size I fit into. My husband has asked me a couple of times in the last week if I have any idea how sexy I look in whichever outfit he is referring to at that time and I have to say honestly that I don’t. most of the time I just don’t see it. I keep having to look at the tags on the new clothes that I bought to see if they really fit becuase I don’t beleive that the sizes are that small, and I keep expecting the clothes to not fit after sitting in the bag for a day or two. I have on a USA size 18 blue jean and would probalby be in smaller if I didn’t have the loose skin in my tummy. All my new tops were a USA size 14/16 since the size 18 were too big. I have bought normal size large or XL in normal stores and they fit or are big. I don’t see small. I see big in the mirror. is this what they mean about the first year you concnetrate on losing the weight and the second on getting your mind wrapped around your new size and how people treat you and react to you? still can’t believe it. than I put on a top from my pre op days and it is literally big enough for both my husband and me. well off to try on a huge bag of clothes that my mom (who is two years post op) has saved for me as she went down in size. I think that I see a sweater in there that I gave to my sister who gave it to my mom that I mgiht get back and I wore it as a teenager. that will be cool to have that back again. haha 😆 oh and when I sit in a booth at a resturant I am MILES from the table and food that I drop lands on the floor or my lap now instead of my chest. 🙂 I had one particular resturant that I really enjoyed over the last 10 years and I did not fit into the booth when I was there in December. we went there last night with another couple and my husband and I sat together on one side and I had several inches between me and the table. WOW! still can’t get over it. off to try on those clothes 8)

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