September 24, 2005

well the last time that I had drugs of ANY kind was about 13.5 hours ago. I am going to see if I can go without any. yesterday I cut out the codeine and only had one dose in the evening because of cramps…guess something I ate wasn’t sitting well in my intestines. now I have a question….need a logical answer. in my logical opinion, if I have an incisional hernia that starts from belly buttom and goes up about 8 inches or more and is a gaping hole that my guts are falling out of, and I over eat, those guts will swell and get hard becuase they are full of too much food. right? so there is no real end to how much I could eat and swell them up unless I threw up or had enough sense to stop but I more than likely would seem like I wouldn’t be as full as quickly as with my RNY surgery, I dont’ have a valve at the end of my stomach so if my food is chewed well or liquid it goes right through and stops in the intestine until it can be digested. so if those same spilling out guts are stuffed back into the stomach and the muscles stitched up, woudln’t it stand to reason that I could not eat as much food as normal before without feeling full or stuffed? it seems logical to me that if the intestines can’t expand limitlessly outside the abdominal wall that it would restrict my eating more? I ask this becuase I can’t eat hardly anything before being full and it is freaky. the way that my body reacts now and only being able to eat small amounts and not being hungry is the way it is supposed to be after a RNY and I have been saying for the last coupel of years that I wonder if I had stretched my stomach out or something because i could eat a lot more than i thougth I should be able to eat. when I asked my local doc about this he poopooed it and said that it wouldn’t make any difference. well I have been out of surgery now for 5 days and I can only eat about half of what I was eating the day before surgery and even that is stuffing me and I have dropped about 6.2 pds alone just since thrusday morning so that is only about 2 days. I am not horrified that I am losing weight but I ahve been stable now around this weight for months and no amount of really doing my level best at gaining weight has really worked for any lenght of time so I had begun to think that it was done losing. they say after a RNY that you lose weight for 1.5-2 years tops and many will gain a bit back after that and than if you lead a normal active life eating the way that you should you should stay around that permanently. I worry that I will lose too much weight. I have never been a skinny chick and I don’t want to be a skinny chick. I have curves, and hour glass figure if you will. before I lost the weight I just had too many curves and my hour glass resembeled more of a beer mug. I am worried that if I am not careful I will resemble a champagne flute. 😯 I weight more as a number on the scale than I ever thoguth I would, but I am lower in size than I wanted to be. I never wanted to be below a size 14 and I can wear 14s and sometimes 12’s now and I haven’t even had any of my reconstructive surgery done or any excess skin removed yet. that should all drop me antoher two sizes to about size 10, hopefully no lower. I am 5’9″. big boned, and curvey but I am losing my curves and I don’t want to look like a blasted model. I want to remain the voluptous real woman that I am. anyhoo….I am rambling…maybe this should have been under the nothing thread becuase it is just jabbers. do you think that it is logical to think that my sudden weight loss and inability to eat much is due to the intestines being back where they are supposed to be even if my local doc said not. I mean I think it is only logical…stuff expands to fill the space it is contained in..and if the guts are contained in a small space now, it stands to reason they won’t expand. or am I just haverin’ sh*t?

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